Dad and Doula

Dad and Childbirth

Dad and Doula
the team
that can't be beat!
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Dad and doula, birthing comfort measures, dad and childbirth
Dad and doula, birthing comfort measures, dad and childbirth
Dad and doula, birthing comfort measures, dad and childbirth
Every Dad has his place on the team
It is my belief that fathers play a vital role in birth. Whether they desire to be the water boy or play the head coach, every dad has his place on the team.

Inherently, Dads are fixer,s but labor does not mean that something is broken. That is not to say, though, that the skills that Daddy needs are inherent. Watching someone so close to you go through trials in a tough experience can be taxing to say the least, and many dads feel at a loss when they try to comfort their partners.   This is where I come in. I help dads pinpoint their comfort levels. We work together to discover his fears, to answer his questions, and to plan a role for him to play that will be rewarding not only for him or the mother, but for them as a team.

During labor I like to imagine myself to be a little bird, whispering helpful suggestions to dad as he tries to help in a journey he himself will never make. I act as a translator when it seems as though she is speaking a foreign language. I provide a road map to guide dads through the twists and turns labor can take. I can stand in when dad needs a break (and yes, dads need breaks too, to eat, to sleep, to make a phone call or even just to breathe!) Notice, though, that not once did I take his role. As a doula, my job is not to replace dad, but to strengthen him, guide him,  come alongside him and help him help mom.

Doulas have a special ability to clear the murky waters between partners and help them to experience birth together. We help partners to create a bond through a shared experience. The doula is not there to steal the show. She is there to help and support both parties in their roles. Best of all, with all of her help, no matter what role you choose (hand holder, breathing coach, massage therapist) she will have you walking away looking and feeling like you played a real role in the birth of your child.
Sometimes it takes every member of the team...
                                    ...even Grandma has her position to play.
Not only do I make sure dad has his role I make sure he knows that comfort measures for dad to give mom will make him look like the rockstar that he is, and I also make sure to inclued the supporting family and friends. Making sure they have their place on the birthing team too.   I take time to show each of them how to comfort their laboring loved one. By doing this I enable them to be a part of the wonderful experience. 
I write this as a new dad to prospective dads on my experience with Ivette.

As a prospective dad, guys there are three phases - pre pregnancy, in pregnancy and post . We focus too much on hospitals and doctors before the birth (pre-pregnancy), but let me tell you it's the latter two that are also critical. Your wife needs you the most - so don't burn yourself.. Ivette was extremely helpful in the latter two, she was just not only on speed dial - especially the night my wife labored; she guided us throughout and always gave us the confidence that it will be OK. 

We met Ivette accidentally, to be honest. My wife was in her 36th week and I realized that as a dad to be, I needed help. Seriously, ask yourself and don't be a superman...You might go to as many classes,plan as much you can, or read a bunch of articles but it is something very different when the moment is close. You have to take a step back and ask yourself if you need additional support for your wife - for me it was a YES. That's not wrong but you are doing the right thing, and believe me, I did. 

I called Kim, one of the other Doula's and she recommended me to Ivette. I had no clue what a Doula is, but Ivette scheduled a time and came to our house. She explained what she does and how she supports through the entire process. My wife hit out very well with her and so did I and we made a birth plan.... this is a very good thing - writing a birth plan and sharing it with others - exactly what we expected from the health care team that would deliver the baby. The OB-GYN was on the same page with my wife. 

Guys, you need a Doula - she is reasonable in cost but you will get much more - she came in to the hospital and spend the night with us - helped my wife with breathing techniques during labor- asked me to sleep - seriously she wanted me to sleep and she was right - it helped during labor and post partum. Oh did I mention, she got me food in the middle of the night - she took photographs - and they were awesome ..she worked very well with the nurses and I will till you, she will give you the information to make informed decision - she will not make a decision for you - but in that moment, where you need to make a call - this is what you pay for...The nurses in the hospital also were relaxed and attended to my wife knowing they had a trained personnel in the room. 

I can honestly say, we started off as professionals but ended as family friends- she even came to her home after post-partum and took fabulous photos of our daughter....She is kindhearted and empathizes with you, I never heard her being negative but always supportive and smiling- remember she does this for a living and how she does this-I have no clue 

Thanks Ivette - for being there and dad's you will not regret hiring a good Doula....